Moving Forward
by DeniseV
Summary: Arcturus was not all that long ago. John and Rodney share a realization.


"That's quite a target you've got there," Dr. Rodney McKay said as he walked slowly beside his limping team leader.

"I don't have a target, Rodney," Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard replied with irritation. "It was a loose rock. It could have happened to anyone."

"My point exactly," Rodney went on. "But it didn't. It happened to you." Rodney stepped ahead of his friend, continuing to make progress walking backwards, and pointed to John's forehead, adding, "Target."

"It's not a target!" John seethed, flicking Rodney's hand away from his face, the pain from his twisted ankle and the goading from McKay combining to put him in a miserable mood. "You've gotten yourself hurt a fair amount yourself," John added, realizing too late that he might be working his way into a debate he would most likely lose.

"Yes…well, don't think I don't remember, but you have to consider your training and experience. Put that up against mine and, well, statistically speaking…"

"Fine! You're right," John interrupted hotly. "I must have a target on my forehead. Will you shut up about it now?" John's irritation had taken no time to morph into pure anger.

Teyla, who had taken point on their trek back to the Jumper, turned back at Sheppard's harsh tone. She walked back toward the two men, forcing everyone to stop. Ronon caught up as well, also clearly concerned at the sudden rancor coming from his team leader. Ronon had no doubt that there was likely no more annoying person alive than Rodney McKay, but the joking tone that McKay had adopted had obviously been lost on the Air Force colonel.

"What gives?" Ronon asked.

"The colonel…" McKay started.

"Rodney, I swear, if you don't shut up…"

"What? If I don't shut up, you'll…what?" Rodney challenged, standing defiantly in front of Sheppard.

"Colonel Sheppard," Teyla interrupted, "we should continue if we wish to arrive at the Jumper before dark.

"Rodney, stay away from me," Sheppard warned.

"What? I don't think I said anything that you didn't already know. Except for maybe you being in denial and all. And don't you think you're overreact…"

McKay was unable to finish his diatribe as Sheppard punched him hard in the face. The force of the hit startled McKay and knocked him back. As Rodney struggled to remain upright his foot slipped on some wet leaves and he fell, his head cracking loudly on Teyla's P-90 as he went down.

Ronon grabbed for Sheppard in order to prevent any further injury to either man, though there was clearly no need now. John's violent reaction seemed to scare the anger right out of him. Ronon saw only regret and concern on Sheppard's face at that moment. He let the colonel go to the downed scientist.

"Ow. Fuck. Ah…shit," Rodney complained from the ground as he struggled to right himself. Teyla restrained him, though she was surprised by the strength being exhibited by the physicist.

"Rodney," John said apologetically as he kneeled next to McKay, hissing at the pain the pressure caused on his injured foot.

"Dr. McKay, please stay down," Teyla pleaded. "You have hit your head."

"I have hit my head?" Rodney asked incredulously. Rodney held his hand to the back of his head as he rocked back and forth through the pain. "You think?" he asked sarcastically. He moaned in pain as he allowed Teyla to check his head. He noted the blood on his hand. "Great."

"Rodney," John started again. "I…I don't know why I did that."

McKay looked at Sheppard and knowingly asked, "You don't? How about maybe some residual anger from…ouch! What are you doing back there – digging for gold?"

"Dr. McKay, you have a deep cut and I must stop the bleeding," Teyla responded calmly.

"No, Rodney," John Sheppard started to refute what he knew Rodney was hinting at.

"Yes, Colonel." Rodney's eyes were steel blades shooting through John Sheppard's soul. John knew Atlantis' head scientist was right, even though he thought he had settled all of that, all of the bad feelings that had passed between them, both in his heart and mind, from reassurances that he had felt from McKay's own actions and attitude since that horrible Arcturus incident.

He now knew from his actions this day that he still had a ways to go. But what he did not understand was why.

"But, why…" John asked, looking lost.

Rodney looked at his…friend…with compassion. Rodney himself knew that it had been a lot to forgive, and he'd felt grateful when he thought they had finally gotten past that awful mess. He and Sheppard had gotten back to joking with each other; it had taken a while, but their banter seemed in synch, their friendship back on track.

Rodney accepted, in this moment, that more work would be required, from both of them. But first…

"Help me up," Rodney directed, his forehead cupped in his hand, elbow on his knee, as Teyla finished cleaning the wound.

"No," Teyla said.

"Yes," Rodney countered, raising his head carefully.

Sheppard offered his hand to Rodney.

"Not you," Rodney said with a sigh. "You're hurt. I really don't think either one of us is up to getting hurt any worse than we already are." Rodney smiled at John, though he wouldn't be surprised if it came off as more of a grimace. His head really hurt. His jaw didn't feel so hot either.

"Ronon," John smiled back, "help the man up."

"Colonel Sheppard," Teyla objected. "I do not believe that Dr. McKay is ready to get up as yet."

John looked at Rodney and said, "It's time to move forward."

Rodney nodded in assent, grimacing slightly with the movement.

It had taken them both a while to get to this point…to realize that neither of them had gotten over anywhere near as much as they thought they did.

They needed to talk. It was something that they had not yet done. They were men, after all, and talking through things, at least these kinds of things, was not second nature to either man. They had relied, rather, on actions and assumptions…using the crumbled foundation from their old friendship as a crutch to get over the shared failures of the Arcturus episode.

Heightmeyer would surely have had a field day with this.

But Heightmeyer would not be part of this. The two men knew how they had failed to right this – failed each other. They could put it back together.

They could do this. Together.

The End.


End file.
